Alone
by mooms
Summary: In the solitary comfort of their rooms, Draco and Ginny contemplates the night's recent events, regret over emotions held back, things left unsaid and undone realizing what could have been. (complete)
1. Portait and Firewhiskey

**Alone**

**(Part One, Draco's POV)**

_I hear the ticking of the clock _

_I'm lying in the room's pitch dark_

Draco was sitting on the floor, his back against one of the four bedposts. He was holding a near-empty bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey and was staring far ahead, his silver-gray eyes casting a look of regret as he contemplated on the night that was.

It was already half past two in the morning, and he was still awake. The Firewhiskey obviously didn't help one bit. It didn't drown his sorrows. It didn't wash away his remorse.

He took another swig from the bottle, draining it from all its contents. He closed his eyes hoping for the last time that the liquid could ease the pain. It was in vain.

Draco put the bottle down on the floor none too gently, letting it roll across the floor. The sound it made as it hit the foot of his desk was the first and only sound that has been heard in his room since he arrived at the manor that night.

Yes, Draco was used to being alone. But he has never felt this forlorn before.

_I wonder where you are tonight_

_No answer on the telephone_

He wanted to reach her now, but he doesn't know how. _You are an idiot, Draco, _he thought to himself. _You let your chance pass you by_.

Out of sheer desperation, he sighed and rested his head against the bedpost, his eyes closed and brows furrowed. In his mind, he saw her again as she left the ball with Potter earlier that night. Her long red locks swept up into an elegant bun, her emerald green dress flowing against her ankles, her arm around the bespectacled young man Draco had loathed since their school days.

Draco wondered agonizingly where they had gone.

_And the night goes by so very slow_

_Oh I hope that it won't end though_

_Alone_

_Another round of Firewhiskey, _he thought, as the notion of her possibly spending the night with Potter dawned on him, ripping through his heart. He reached for his wand in his pocket and pointed at another bottle of Firewhiskey and muttered, "Accio!"

The bottle zoomed to his outstretched palm, but he didn't open it, didn't drink the hot liquid that promises unfeeling and disregard. Instead he threw it across the room with all his might. The bottle hit the wall, nearly missing the portrait of the woman he had thought of so much that night. The portrait he had so lovingly toiled for the last few weeks.

_I wish it had just been me_, Draco thought as the bottle shattered to pieces, its contents splattered all over the floor. _I'm damn near broken. I wanted this feeling to pour out and leave me be_.

'_Til now I always got by on my own_

_I never really cared until I met you_

_And now it chills me to the bone_

He looked at the portrait on the wall and sniggered bitterly. _You've made a mess out of my life, made me a wretched man_.

He loved her. Oh how he loves her still.

He remembered the day he first saw her at a desolate bookshop so many years ago. Her face covered in soot, her clothes shabby and the books in her obviously secondhand cauldron were tattered. She was someone he had been taught to hate – a muggle-loving fool. And even then she had stood up for Potter.

"Potter. Always Potter," he spat grudgingly. When the woman in the portrait smiled meekly, his heart skipped a bit, but the jealousy and anguish that he felt was more powerful tonight "I'm sure that smile is still for him, isn't it? Saint Potter!" he implored the portrait sullenly and he swiftly turned around and slammed his fist against the bedpost. Anger raging through his veins.

_How do I get you alone_

_How do I get you alone_

Draco let his tired body drop onto his bed. His face down against the cool sheets, he whispered, "I wanted to tell you so tonight. I wanted to have you all to myself, but I didn't have the chance. Or maybe I've just been a coward. What have you done to me?"

He rolled onto his side and tucked his knees closer to him. He wanted someone to hold him. He wanted her with him. He has never felt so alone. Visions of her raced through his mind. The face he has grown to love and know very well through the years haunting him.

"Oh Ginny…"

It was all that he said, as a breeze slipped past his open window, a chill ran down his spine. And the only thing to be heard was the rustling of the leaves outside and the faint sound of Draco's own heartbeat.

---

Song Title: Alone

Band: Heart


	2. Stars and the Velvet Sky

**Alone**

**(Part Two, Ginny's POV)**

_You don't know how long how I've wanted_

_To touch your lips and hold you tight, oh_

Ginny was lying on her bed, her head propped up on fluffy pillows. There was a haunting look on her face. She was staring into nothingness, eyes blinded by a stream of unsettling thoughts and tears unshed.

She saw him again earlier that night. It had been so long.

She sighed deeply and turned to her side. A look of surprise passed across her face as she caught sight of her wall clock – two-thirty. She has been tossing and turning the whole night, not a wink of sleep.

_Prepare for yet another sleepless night, Gin_, she thought to herself, as she resigned fighting the emotions flooding through her, the forbidden feelings she had kept all these years now running amuck in her mind and heart.

_You don't know how long I have waited_

_And I was gonna tell you tonight_

"Fine," Ginny said at last. She groaned as she sat up and started to get out of bed, "don't let me sleep. This is all your fault. Ugh." She stood up to open the window and let the cold draft in. She didn't matter the cold. If she couldn't sleep, she'd just count the stars.

She looked out the window and started counting. Even as a child she had loved looking up at the vast night sky. There was something about the stars scattered across the mysterious dark sky – like diamonds on velvet. She suddenly stopped when she noticed a very familiar figure. It made her heart skip a beat.

"Draco," she softly whispered the name of the man she have thought of more than anyone else that night.

Ginny closed her eyes and remembered Draco as she saw him at the ball – his sleek blond hair, his angular and aristocratic features, his stormy grey eyes. No, she didn't just see him there. She looked at him, kept on stealing glances whenever nobody, especially Harry, was looking. And now she wondered whether there was passion and fire behind Draco's piercing grey eyes.

_But the secret is still my own_

_And my love for you is still unknown_

_Alone_

And Ginny believed he did. She knew there was more to him than what meets the eye. She was sure because her eyes had followed him when they were still at Hogwarts. She knew he has so much conviction on the cause his family believed in, no matter how wrong they were, how much he loved his mother, how much he loved his art – his talent. And she knew that a man with conviction has a lot of passion in him.

Yes, even then she had adored him from afar. From a distance she tried her best to know him well. She loved him well, too, though nobody ever knew it. Oh how she loves him still.

Tonight she had the chance, but she didn't grab it.

"If you only knew how much I wanted to come to you and tell you that I've loved you for so long," she whispered regretfully, tears starting to flow from her eyes as she stared longingly at the constellation from which the man she love was named after.

_Til now I always got by on my own_

_I never really cared until I met you_

_And now it chills me to the bone_

Ginny sighed desperately and wiped the tears that flowed to her cheeks. She turned away from the window and sat at the edge of her bed. She reached out to her nightstand and got her diary. She flipped on its pages and found a clipping from the Daily Prophet. It was a photo of Draco during one of his interviews with the wizarding newspaper.

_You've grown so much, yet you have not changed,_ she thought. She was still the same Draco she had met one day at Flourish & Blotts. He still had his domineering presence, his insolent smile, his cold hard stare. Ginny had not realized that meeting had changed her life forever.

She didn't know how she could fall so hard for someone who hated everything that she is. _He could never love me_, _why should I care?_

_How do I get you alone_

_How do I get you alone_

_But I do care, there's no stopping my heart from beating so_, Ginny told herself bravely. She wanted so much to hold him, wanted to melt the ice and igniting the fire that she knew he had.

"If you will only let me…" she said aloud. But he was nowhere to hear these words. It was just Ginny inside her room. She had never felt so lonesome.

She held the photo close to her heart and closed her eyes. She imagined his constellation shining brightly, then suddenly all Ginny could see in her mind's eye was Draco's face taking over the whole night sky.

---

Song Title: Alone

Band: Heart


End file.
